Has been interesting.
I'm learning soooooooo much about myself, and I think I've truly come to believe that I am loveable. Not because I'm sexually attractive, or hilarious, or smart, but just because I'm ME. It's a completely new feeling, but it feels GOOD, let me tell you!
I used to pick someone and decide to go for it. This strategy is most accurately represented through the story of my marriage. Decide and do. I decided I wanted Rick, and that was it. We got married. No preparation, no "get to know you" or ease into it. Just decide and do. I've decided that it's time for a new strategy... How about actually developing a relationship (starting with friendship) over time, and then figuring out if you are compatible beyond that initial attraction? How about that? I'm finding that I'm just not that interested now that I've removed the feeling of desperation from my search. Fascinating!
I also weigh more than I've ever weighed (not pregnant) in my life. I am not proud of my body. But (and this is very, very significant for me) I DON'T CARE. I know that no matter what I weigh, I am deserving of love. It is a wonderful feeling.
So much of my marriage was characterized by "I love you 'even though'..." Even though the house isn't clean enough. Even though you've put on some weight. Even though you're mean. Even though... I was always so fortunate to have a husband who was willing to love me "even though..." No longer! Now I know I deserve more, I deserve better, I deserve to feel loved, truly loved.
I work very hard to make sure my children feel loved and loveable. The majority of my energy and attention goes to figuring out how to meet their emotional needs effectively. I can see the difference in them. I believe I'm doing something right.
I think I have truly found my confidence, found myself, and I like it!
This used to be me:
Watch "Lee Brice - Hard to Love (Official Video)" on YouTube
But no more! I am easy to love. In so many ways, for so many reasons!
I can do this.
I'm learning soooooooo much about myself, and I think I've truly come to believe that I am loveable. Not because I'm sexually attractive, or hilarious, or smart, but just because I'm ME. It's a completely new feeling, but it feels GOOD, let me tell you!
I used to pick someone and decide to go for it. This strategy is most accurately represented through the story of my marriage. Decide and do. I decided I wanted Rick, and that was it. We got married. No preparation, no "get to know you" or ease into it. Just decide and do. I've decided that it's time for a new strategy... How about actually developing a relationship (starting with friendship) over time, and then figuring out if you are compatible beyond that initial attraction? How about that? I'm finding that I'm just not that interested now that I've removed the feeling of desperation from my search. Fascinating!
I also weigh more than I've ever weighed (not pregnant) in my life. I am not proud of my body. But (and this is very, very significant for me) I DON'T CARE. I know that no matter what I weigh, I am deserving of love. It is a wonderful feeling.
So much of my marriage was characterized by "I love you 'even though'..." Even though the house isn't clean enough. Even though you've put on some weight. Even though you're mean. Even though... I was always so fortunate to have a husband who was willing to love me "even though..." No longer! Now I know I deserve more, I deserve better, I deserve to feel loved, truly loved.
I work very hard to make sure my children feel loved and loveable. The majority of my energy and attention goes to figuring out how to meet their emotional needs effectively. I can see the difference in them. I believe I'm doing something right.
I think I have truly found my confidence, found myself, and I like it!
This used to be me:
Watch "Lee Brice - Hard to Love (Official Video)" on YouTube
But no more! I am easy to love. In so many ways, for so many reasons!
I can do this.
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