a couple of C words

Church.

No, going to church on Sunday does not "make it all better" when you've been sinful or have issues with obedience.  I have my faults; I admit them; I continue to work on them (with the help of my Heavenly Father, my Savior, and, perhaps, my therapist.)  I try to get to church every Sunday.  Lately I've been lazy on my "off" weekends and the kids were sick the previous Sunday they were home.  No excuses.  Just life.  Last weekend I got them all up and ready for church on time.  Jan 1 our Sacrament time changed to 9am and I was very nervous about accomplishing it.  I even made sure to send them to bed early on Saturday.  We pulled into the church parking lot exactly at 9am to find it completely empty.  LOL.  Oooops.  Stake conference.  I usually would have just skipped (Stake Conference with six little kids is way tooooo much for me!  Especially alone!) but I decided to give it a try.  I drove around a bit and pulled into the Stake center parking lot closer to 9:30.  Ugh.  Stake Conference didn't start until ten.  We made it about a half an hour before I packed it in and went home.  Maybe next time.  Maybe next year.
However, what is important is that I tried.  MOST Sundays (particularly the ones where I have the kids home with me) I am at church.  That is not to try to "act as if" I am perfect or doing everything right.  It is just because I'd like to set the example to my children that attending church on Sunday is important.  That's all.  It isn't about me or how I look.  It's about teaching my children a value, not about whether or not I am perfectly living Gospel standards today.  I think that making the effort to bring them when I have them sends a clear message to them about its importance.

Competition/Comparisons

I do not believe that I am in competion with my ex.  I, of course, think I am better.  I'm sure he (and she) think(s) the same of themselves.  Of COURSE we think we are better than the other.  It is the nature of being "exes."  Do I worry about being seen as better?  Absolutely not.  I am happy and confident in the choices I make as a mother, in my children's interest.  I HAVE, on more than one occassion, asked the children (when they have told me how their father handled a particular situation) "Is that how Mommy would have handled that?"  and "Would you like it better if I did it the way that Daddy does it?"  I ask only because I HONESTLY would like to know if they prefer the methods being used at Daddy's house.  I tell them that if they want things done differently, we can talk about it.  Sometimes I will be able to implement the changes and other times I may not believe change is the right choice, but I will always listen to them.  I always want to hear their preferences and opinions.  Of course we all love the children.  We just have different methods.  I definitely want to use the method that is most effective.  That is why co-parenting would be beneficial.